Breakdown of Family Values

by Will Blakely

Here is a stat that most people I would hope find alarming, less than 25% of America’s population is composed of the “model” family.  This “model” family of a mother, father, and a child (or children) is starting to slip away along with the morals and values that come from a good family structure.  As a society we are becoming more free-spirited and tolerant of acts that are crippling marriage and a good family life.  Acts such as unwed mothers, child abortion, divorce, and reliance on the Government to support us are just some of the reasons.  If we don’t start to change the way we live our future generations could be in even more trouble.            

One of the first things that I would like to say is that we have become increasingly tolerant in this country, but before I start sounding bitter let me distinguish between tolerance and acceptance.  Tolerance in essence is learning to live with something, while acceptance is thinking that there is nothing wrong with it.  Keep this in mind while reading some of the reasons for the family breakdown.

One of the first noted causes for the breakdown of the family has been the Sexual Revolution of the later years of the 1960’s.  During this time there was a widespread belief of “freedom without consequence,” especially when it came to sexual behavior.  This era of free love between numerous partners led to a breakdown of the seriousness of sex.  Along with the invention of the birth control pill, which furthered the tolerance for casual sex, not only were people having more casual sex they were often times doing it unprotected.  Well wouldn’t you know it, in the several decades following there has been a large increase in the number of pregnancies among unwed women.

Today in America out of all of the children that are born each year approximately 37% are born to unwed mothers.  37%!  That’s roughly 1 out of every 3 children that are born are to an individual, not a family; back in the early 60’s, before the Sexual Revolution, this number was significantly lower.  Among white women the percentage of out of wedlock births was at 2.3% and among black women was 23%.  Skipped ahead a few decades to 2005 where those 2.3% and 23% of unwed mothers giving birth have skyrocketed to 31.7% and 69.3% respectively. 

For some women that have become impregnated out of wedlock the Government has decided to step in and help these mothers out.  They felt it was necessary to give out large subsidizes to theses mothers for food, shelter, and money to help raise the child.  Now I do agree every child does need these necessities, but what about the father!  All that these subsidizes did and continue to do is alleviate the father of these children the responsibility of both caring and paying for their child, last time I checked it takes two to conceive!  It seems as though there is a decline in responsibility of childbirths.

The court case decision of Roe vs. Wade, which legalized abortions, was another legislative action that relieved the responsibility of childbirth; not only for the father but for the mother too.  What I mean by this is that legalized abortions offered an awful “solution” to taking care of the baby without having to have it.  It is as though they get a mulligan on their irresponsible behavior.    There was a time when a woman if she had a child out of wedlock would be looked at a little different, like there was something wrong with it.  Not anymore, now we just tolerate this action almost to the point where it’s accepted. 

Gay rights activists have been pushing for the right for homosexuals to marry for quite some time now, grilling the Government to change its laws on it; when they did they were unhappy with the results.  In 1996 the Defense Marriage Act was passed stating two main points one, for marriage to be upheld on the Federal level, it must be explicitly defined as a civil union between one man and one woman and two, states do not have to recognize other states decisions if they have allowed same-sex marriages.  Still after this Federal court ruling they still want the Government to recognize and accept same-sex marriages as legitimate as well as be eligible for the same benefits that heterosexual couples get.

Though I do not agree with the act of same-sex marriages, I also don’t believe that it is the Governments role to tell people what they can and can’t do in marriage; it should be left up to individual states.  Massachusetts became the first state in the nation that has allowed same-sex marriages to be performed on November 18th, 2003 with Connecticut shortly following after on October 10th, 2008.  Couples that are married in these states are eligible for state benefits of marriage, but are not going to be recognized on the Federal level or by other states that choose not to. 

Take for example countries around the world that have legalized same-sex marriages such as Denmark, France, Hungary, Iceland, the Netherlands, Norway, Sweden, and most recently Canada.   Having government regulate marriage in these countries has led to more negative than positive results.  Since legalization was introduced all these countries have seen a sharp increase in cohabitation, out of wedlock births, fatherless children, poverty, and drug use.  To me it doesn’t sound like their family structure is doing too well.

Partaking in marriage and having a family are not something that should be taken lightly, they are lifetime commitments.  Michael Argyle, an Oxford Psychologist, who has been studying human behavior and marriage for the past twenty years, concluded that people believe that “the single institution that made people happy was marriage.”  For the overall welfare of society the Government’s job should be encouraging this model of the ideal family, as it is the healthiest environment for rearing a child.  There are important things that a child can only learn from their father and other things that he can only learn from their mother.  As a society we need to stop tolerating everything and start speaking up when we see something we believe to be wrong.  If we tolerate something long enough it will soon become accepted like so much that is allowed today.  We need to bring the idea of family life back as it is one of the strongest pillars that shapes us as a nation.